a letter on the eve of change.

My sweetest baby girl,

Tomorrow marks the beginning our our new normal. You are so excited about your baby brother that at times I wonder if maybe you really do grasp all that’s coming your way. You tell me daily how you’ll hold him and kiss him and change his diaper and make his wipes. Every night this week you’ve remembered to thank God for him when you say our dinnertime prayer. It sure does make Mommy and Daddy so happy to see how excited you are. We couldn’t be more thrilled to meet our sweet baby Ephraim…you’ve shown us what a gift it is to be parents and we know what amazing love is in store for us.

But I have to admit that tonight I’m just a little sad. Tomorrow when we tuck you in and head off to the hospital we won’t come back to our house until we’re a family of four. The long, lazy days of just you and me and Sesame Street and quiet lunches and playing on the front step will be gone. Replaced first by the harried life of a home that houses a newborn. Then the hustle and bustle of two preschoolers. And eventually the craziness of kiddos in sports and music and dance and church and…whatever else comes. And all of this is good. I welcome it, embrace it. But I’m so afraid that I’ll miss you. And I’m sad that you’ll probably never remember these two years and 23 days of “just us”. And, if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m a little afraid that I’ll start to forget them too.

So if I could plant memories into your daily-growing little brain that I knew would last forever and ever, here are what some of them would be. The first night you were on this earth when I stared at you in amazement and sang “Sarah Lorraine Cobb” over and over and over to the tune of “John Jacob Jingleheimer Smits”. When you were just five weeks old and you helped me throw daddy the best 30th birthday party ever. The many nights before you started crawling that we took of your diaper and let you loose to squirm and roll and giggle and pee all over your bedroom. The daily morning walks we took with Ms. Samantha and Caroline and Ms. Amy and, finally, baby Hayden. Rocking with me every evening before bed while I sang all my old favorite hymns (incidentally, as soon as you could voice your opinion you demanded different songs and won’t even let me get through the first verse of How Great Thou Art anymore…so maybe this is a better memory for me than for you). Your second Easter morning when you got your first “lipstick” from Aunt Lori and we all thought you might just die of happiness and girliness. When we moved to Alabama and you discovered “spendanights” with grandparents – you were so proud to be such a big girl! The first time I whispered “go tickle daddy” into your ear and you decided that anytime anyone whispered anything to you it MUST mean “go tickle daddy”. And my goodness, there’s so much more. Let’s cross our fingers and hope that this internet keeps ticking because so many of our best times are stored right here on Princess Pigbear (which, my dear, we’ll need to be renaming pretty quickly.)

So now I can sleep tonight knowing that I’ve at least tried to tell your little two-year old self how I’m feeling. And I can look forward to meeting our new little guy knowing all the blessings that he’ll be bringing to our family. And I can rejoice in the fact that you’re getting a brother, a bubby, a buddy for life. And that he’s getting the best big sister there ever could be. And maybe one day when you’re a mommy of one on the eve of becoming a mommy of two you’ll be able to read this and know that whatever you’re feeling about it is okay. But for now, I hope you just know that I love you.

Love,

Mommy

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AnonymousNovember 18, 2007 - 8:57 pm

And I love you, too, sweet Baby Girl.

Daddy

mandyNovember 18, 2007 - 8:58 pm

Well I certainly am crying now. Because I know exactly how you are feeling. As I told you, it won’t ever be the same, but in a lot of ways…better!

Jaime WattierNovember 18, 2007 - 9:02 pm

Erin, you have the most beautiful way of putting your feelings into words! I’m crying reading your letter to Sara and all I know of your family is what I’ve read on your blog and what Sue (Brandy’s mom) has told me. I love reading your blog! We’ve never met, but would love to meet you some day!

Have a wonderful labor and delivery and I’ll be anxious to hear what Sara has to say about Ephraim in your next post… maybe?? :)

Candice St.OngeNovember 18, 2007 - 9:12 pm

wow, your letter to Sarah made me cry.

GinaNovember 18, 2007 - 9:18 pm

Erin,

So glad that I am at home reading this and not at work. I am in tears and so looking forward to meeing little Ephraim. Treasure your last moments as 3 and look forward with much joy for the moments that the 4 of you will enjoy. You are in my prayers!

AnonymousNovember 18, 2007 - 9:24 pm

Erin,
Perfectly put sentiments! Such a blessed, unique time of becoming a mom and enjoying your first baby growing up and then anticipating a new baby! I look forward to your advice on a family of 3 turning into a family of 4! :) Happy Induction!
Colleen W.

AnonymousNovember 18, 2007 - 9:27 pm

Tears…tears… TEARS!

I have a 2 year old daughter and we are currently trying for #2. You captured every emotion I know I will feel before the next one is a reality.

Best of luck…:)

AmyNovember 18, 2007 - 10:47 pm

I just know that it is going to be better than you ever imagined to have a family of 4! Good thoughts and hugs and prayers to you all. . . and I can’t wait for the call (and to hear the love in your voice) saying that you’ve finally met your little boy!

SusieNovember 18, 2007 - 11:06 pm

Lots of good delivery prayers going up for you tonight, Erin :)

~KimNovember 18, 2007 - 11:39 pm

Erin, as if I needed another reason to cry tonight! That was truly amazing. Someday Sarah will read that and cry herself because she has an awesome mommy that loves her!

I can’t wait to hear all about the new little guy and the impact he will make on the little heart of Pigbear herself!

~Kim

MarlaNovember 18, 2007 - 11:51 pm

Ok, I’m bawling now, too. What beautiful words you’ve written to Sarah. She will one day treasure them. Very touching. I’ll keep you in my prayers that you have a safe delivery and a healthy little guy!!

rpstegmanNovember 19, 2007 - 1:45 am

What a beautiful letter to your little girl! Thank you for sharing this with us.

My prayers are with you for a good L&D and a speedy recovery! Can’t wait to see pics of your precious baby boy …being held by your precious little girl! :-) God bless.

SamanthaNovember 19, 2007 - 4:48 am

I’m in tears. I miss the Cobb family of 3 already. But I know I’m going to love, love, love that baby too!

Where’s my letter reassuring ME that you are still going to love me and things won’t change too much?

ElizabethNovember 19, 2007 - 5:18 am

Oh, Erin, you made me cry and I know exactly how you’re feeling.

AmyNovember 19, 2007 - 5:24 am

Erin – I am a long time lurker…but I just had to comment on your letter. It was incredibly sweet and really hit home with me. I am also a mom of 2 and I remember feeling this same way when I left my son with his grandparents and headed to the hospital to have my baby girl. I only wish I would have written a letter like this for him. Now my babies are 10 and 6…and we are very much in the middle of running to sports, dance, church. Cherish these moments with your tiny little ones because they will grow up way too quickly!!

Good luck…and I can’t wait to see photos of your new baby boy!

Mom2DrewNovember 19, 2007 - 5:51 am

You’ve just inspired me to write a letter of love to my 18mo old son as his 2.5 week old brother is here and changing his world;) good luck on your induction…I hope yours is as uneventful as mine.

KimNovember 19, 2007 - 5:58 am

Erin,

What a beautiful letter to your daughter. I am sitting here at my kitchen table in tears, because what you wrote is so true.

I know you your husband, and Sarah will treasure those days and make many more memories with the new family member.

By the way once she gets a whiff of changing diapers I don’t think that will last long… :-)

TerryNovember 19, 2007 - 6:15 am

There is a bitter sweetness about giving birth to a second child. Worry that the first one will be feeling so many changes and worrying and wondering how you could possibly love the second one this much. But, trust me, I know first hand that second children are blessings in themselves, and that first children adjust far better than we imagine. I love you dearly my second child. Love, Mom

Shana-LynnNovember 19, 2007 - 6:16 am

Beautifully written. Good luck Erin, can’t wait to see pictures of that little guy!

CortniNovember 19, 2007 - 7:06 am

Wow. That is one of the sweetest things I have ever read. I wish I had a way with words like you. So, so sweet. Good luck today, I hope you have a wonderful labor and delivery. I can’t wait to see Pigbears new little “bubby”—love that!

God bless!
Cortni

JenNovember 19, 2007 - 7:07 am

Oh Erin, I sit here with tears streaming down my face, how beautiful!

luvbnmaNovember 19, 2007 - 7:18 am

With tears in my eyes, chills and memories of my own “night before” my heart is with you. Things will change, but as i type this my two sons ages three and five are playing in the rookm next to me. And as they rose from bed seperately this morning their first question (after kisses for Mommy) was “where’s my brother.” God bless. The dust will steele and your new normal will be wonderful– just different. We had our oldest 2 yrs and 33 days before adding our second child to the family. It is a wonderful thing.

Amanda AZ

AnonymousNovember 19, 2007 - 7:47 am

This beautiful letter made me start to cry…

I’m sure you Sarah will love it when she will be taller…

Good luck for tomorrow.

Kisses from france…

TinaNovember 19, 2007 - 8:17 am

Oh Erin! I couldn’t make it through without getting a tissue first. I couldn’t help but cry knowing I’ll be in the same position in about 6 months. You expressed the feelings all mothers must have upon having a 2nd child…Thank you for sharing such a special letter with us! Good luck and I know that your family of 4 will be more wonderful than you could ever imagine!

Tina

~Jenn H~November 19, 2007 - 8:19 am

Erin, I’m sitting here crying, too. What a wonderful way to document your feelings on Sarah’s last night as “the baby”. I remember feeling the same way the morning my second daughter decided to arrive a month early-I thought “No! I’m not ready to give up my Kymmie (oldest DD) yet!” And then, my youngest DD was SO good at being the baby, that the night before I went in to have my son, I just held her and cried as she slept in my arms. So, big (((hugs))) to you and Sarah, and I’m praying for an easy, wonderful experience of bringing little Ephraim into the world. I can’t wait to read the next post, and how crazy Sarah is about him. :)

aunt danaNovember 19, 2007 - 9:29 am

I just put my second childs senior picture in my frame at work. As I looked through the previous years pictures going all the way back to 6th grade I remember having the same emotions you are having know. It’s all new but it’s all great. Enjoy. Take care and best wishes for a smooth labor and delivery.

LoriNovember 19, 2007 - 9:31 am

This is so sweeet! I am definitely tearing up. I wish you and your family all the best as you get ready to welcome one more!

~Lori

TanyaNovember 19, 2007 - 9:34 am

I just cried reading your beautiful letter to your little girl. You are such an amazing woman, wife, and mother. Best of luck with your new little boy. Thank you for sharing your inner most thoughts with us!

JenniferNovember 19, 2007 - 9:57 am

Ditto to what Gina and Tina said – I’m glad I’m reading this at home and not at work, and I had to get a tissue before I could finish!

I too wrote a couple of letters to Tyler when he was little and sealed them in an envelope and put them in his baby book. Some day he’ll open them and read them and hopefully know how special our time was as “just us”. Very cherished memories indeed.

kristinaNovember 19, 2007 - 10:01 am

Such a beautiful letter, Erin. It had me in tears. Here’s wishing you a very wonderful labor/delivery! I can’t wait to see pictures of your little boy. ;)

AnnaNovember 19, 2007 - 10:09 am

You’re such an amazing mom and person, Erin. Good luck and prayers as you meet Ephraim! Your family will just get better as you add the sibling relationship dynamic to your life!

ellenNovember 19, 2007 - 10:34 am

That’s so sweet. What a lucky little girl.

lizNovember 19, 2007 - 10:40 am

I swore I wouldn’t bother you today, but I’m calling right now!

MeganNovember 19, 2007 - 11:21 am

Believe me, you won’t forget those precious moments. I still remember Mazie and me. I can’t believe she is actually turning six soon. Good luck and I can’t wait to see your handsome little guy!

TashaNovember 19, 2007 - 11:29 am

Ahhhhh, that was the sweetest of letters to a 2 year old. I can’t wait till she is old enough to read it….I can’t wait for you that is. Simply touching.

meganNovember 19, 2007 - 12:00 pm

Such a beautiful letter, and I know Sarah will treasure it one day. Sarah is special because she made you a mother, and Ephraim will be special because he will make Sarah and sister and you a better mother. God bless your family; all four of you!

Megan

carolNovember 19, 2007 - 12:38 pm

Erin, Brent, and Sarah,

What a wonderful letter you have written to Sarah. As I sit here and read your letter I remember when my twins were born and the emotion of not having my Sara to myself anymore. But once you see your son your love for your children be that much more special. It’s amazing how many friends and family you have that can’t wait until your next blog. God Bless you and your family as you transition into a loving family of four.

jglanzerNovember 19, 2007 - 12:43 pm

Oh, gosh, add me to the list of the weeping blog readers!! It could be the pregnancy hormones, but I just can’t help but get emotional reading this, as I had these exact thoughts about 2 years ago. When my second daughter was born, I worried about leaving my big girl behind . . .about missing all of her accomplishments and milestones. . . of not having any “us” time. But you will still have those moments, and — with your camera in hand — you will capture each and every special moment in the ‘Pig Bear’s’ life. She will be a wonderful sister, and very lucky to have a new baby brother. :) Good luck!!!

Kristi & William SmithNovember 19, 2007 - 12:48 pm

Gosh, Erin, I’m sitting here dissolved into tears. This gives me hope that I just might be able to be a good mom to more than one little angel…something I never thought was possible but you and so many other moms are living proof that it is. God bless

J.J. KillinsNovember 19, 2007 - 12:50 pm

oh gosh erin, i am so glad i’m not further along in this pregnancy or i’d be a giant mess reading this. i will be right there with this sentiment real, soon, though, and i feel it welling up already. good thoughts for the next few days, my friend…

NathanNovember 19, 2007 - 1:01 pm

Oh wow… what a letter; Beautifully written by a loving mother.
I know how you feel 100% and can I just say that when P’Bear is getting the best gift you can give her. Take care and good luck from Germany!!

ToriNovember 19, 2007 - 1:55 pm

okay…i think we are balling our eyes out..that was precious…

fogarty2November 19, 2007 - 2:14 pm

Wow Erin. You made me cry. You summed it up so beautifully. Try to enjoy today.

Susie PSUNovember 19, 2007 - 3:06 pm

Good luck Erin! I can’t wait to read the letter you write to Ephraim telling him how HE has changed your whole world! You’ll love him just as much, I promise.

LisaNovember 19, 2007 - 3:40 pm

Erin,
This is just the sweetest blog post ever! Best of luck with L&D, I can’t wait to see and read all about baby E!

the larsonsNovember 19, 2007 - 5:02 pm

45 comments! Do you see how many people love your blog?

Reading that brought me back to just 3 months ago, when I peeked in on my sleeping Stella at 5 am before heading to the hospital to have Meg. Sure I was emotional, but I knew I had an important job to do – bring another healthy baby into this world…and now, I can’t imagine life without her.

And I also remember well days with just me and Stella – and I still make it a priority to spend good time with JUST her every day. I think that’s made a big difference in how she’s embraced Meg.

Will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow, and as usual, checking your blog a bunch. love you!

JaideanNovember 19, 2007 - 5:50 pm

I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face too. Our little of family of 3 will be becoming a family of 4 next Tuesday. I feel the exact same way you do – excited for our family to be growing, but really sad that it will be changing at the same time! Good luck tonight! Can wait to “meet” little Ephriam!

MarciNovember 19, 2007 - 6:13 pm

Wow, you should have said make sure you have tissue handy. What a beautiful note for Sarah to look back on.

JamiNovember 19, 2007 - 6:16 pm

I am in tears too! My family grew from 3 to 4 one month ago today. I know exactly how you feel and let me tell you, it will never be the same. I can’t wait to “meet” Ephraim.

Aunt LuNovember 19, 2007 - 6:55 pm

I got a heads up from your mom, so I waited until I got home to read this. The tears are flowing now. I’ll be thinking of the new Cobb family tonight. Love you all

Amy in GANovember 19, 2007 - 8:27 pm

Wow. Just wow. Erin – you are a beautiful person with a beautiful family. You deserve all of the wonderful blessings God has bestowed upon you. I look forward to stories from a mommy x 2. :)

JeanelleNovember 19, 2007 - 8:50 pm

Way to make someone cry!
Just beautiful!

joyNovember 19, 2007 - 9:12 pm

beautiful, erin — it makes me sad for the last day it is just me and my little guy, but excited for the days when I have a houseful!

StephanieNovember 19, 2007 - 9:40 pm

so beautiful… I know she’ll (and you’ll!) cherish that for years to come…

I wish you the best of luck and can’t wait to see picture of the new little one. :)

Stacey RNovember 19, 2007 - 10:20 pm

I’m in tears. We’ll be adding #2 to our family in May and I can’t help but have mixed emotions as well. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers!

AnonymousNovember 20, 2007 - 6:26 am

I am truly speechless…

May God continue to bless everything you touch.

Miracles & Blessings

Marcellina

DeniseNovember 20, 2007 - 7:49 am

Oh, I could have written that same letter. Such mixed emotions on the eve of having two. After the crazy post-partum hormones, I have been so VERY happy to have two. BUT, that sweet, sweet season just with Jon David will forever be precious to me. Your letter is beautiful and your love for your children is truly a gift from God (a gift to you, a gift to Brent and a gift to your blessed children). God IS Good!!! Just CAN’T wait to see the baby pictures of Ephraim!! Oh, how I wish I had your skill to get such shots of Josiah. So talented you are!! Anyway, I was thinking of you as the babyGap kids of 2007 are announced and so thankful to have shared that journey with your sweet family.

JoyceNovember 20, 2007 - 8:59 am

Erin, what a wonderful tribute to your Sarah. She will be a good, “BIG SISTER” and the love of her brother will carry on through the rest of their life. As you and Brent have provided her the wealth of love and meaning of life.
Love you all…

lindeyNovember 20, 2007 - 3:00 pm

tear.

that was beautiful erin.

let me just remind you that you are giving sara the most precious gift of all…a little brother to love and boss and argue with. it just doesn’t get any better than that.

matt’s big sister, lindey ;o)

amberNovember 20, 2007 - 8:42 pm

I love your blog. I love how you have such a beautiful way with words. I am sure baby Ephraim is here by now and your family is now four. :) I cannot wait to read about the joyous moment! It does make me giggle to think that the GAP Casting Call finalists were announced today. lol

LeeAnnNovember 20, 2007 - 9:48 pm

Good Lord, I am so teary eyed now!!! I felt the same way when having my second. What a change and yes, very sad! Congratulations on your new addition and Congrats to Pigbear!! She will love her new brother!

KatieNovember 20, 2007 - 10:25 pm

I got news that you met you’re little boy this evening! I’m so excited for you guys. Thanks for sharing you fears and joys so honestly and beautifully! When I think of “losing” those moments of just Kelsea and I it just knocks the wind right out of me…how could I possibly love another being as much as I do Kelsea? You describe it quite nicely in your letter…I’ll have to come back to it again (and again) when we’re ready to add to our family. (-: Congratulations Mama! KT

JaniceNovember 21, 2007 - 12:06 am

Ok, let me wipe my tears away. You have written all the things I have felt when I was about to give birth to my second child. What a beautiful letter! I know Sarah will one day read this and know how much she is so lucky to have such a wonderful loving family.

Good luck with everything! I can’t wait to see pictures of little Baby Ephraim!

AnonymousNovember 21, 2007 - 6:14 am

Hello,
I check your blog out often because a) your daughter is close in age w/ my son b) she is just too cute & c) I love looking at your work…I haven’t posted a comment much, but this letter made me cry! I’m having my 2nd child (a girl) in April & can imagine that I will be feeling this same way…I tear up just thinking about it….I wish you an easy & quick delivery & can’t wait to see pics of your new baby boy.

DaphneNovember 21, 2007 - 6:37 am

That was an amazing letter. Something Sarah will always be able to treasure!I am anxiously awaiting pictures of the new little man. I don’t want to call and bother so I will be patient and wait.

The TresslersNovember 21, 2007 - 10:05 am

Thank you for sharing this letter, your family, and your photography with all of us! Looking forward to seeing pictures of your new little man and of course, his proud big sister! Congratulations!!

BrendaNovember 21, 2007 - 3:41 pm

Erin,

I’m not sure if this is going to come up right…I’ve got tears running down my face and I can barely see! That is the most sweetest letter and I know that little pigbear knows exactly how you feel for her…we all can see your love for her through your beautiful photos of her! =)

I hope all is well..congrats and the new bundle…take care of yourself and your family!!

xoxo,
Bren

JenNovember 29, 2007 - 8:54 pm

oh. my . gosh.

i’m late in posting, trying to catch up on all the blogs that I check in on..but, i had to post nonetheless..this letter made me cry. it was so beautiful and so honest and so real.
and probably exactly how i will feel if i ever have baby #2. :)

thank you for sharing this with everyone, it was truly well said and moving.

jen

StephanieDecember 3, 2007 - 9:28 pm

Okay, bawling my eyes out :’) so sweet!!!

CONGRATS!

JenniferFebruary 21, 2010 - 8:00 pm

Erin,
I’m reading through your cliff notes and now I’m crying at this post. How sweet! Sarah will cherish this so much one day!
Have a good night!
Jennifer

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