he puts the “B” in B-Ro.

They say pride goeth before the fall.

I say pride goeth before an unwanted but neccessary, first-day-of-fall-break, trip to the emergency room.

Allow me to set the stage.

15

One glorious fall morning a young mother (very, very young…and pretty) realizes that in just a handful of weeks her youngest child will turn two. As she’s cleaning her house (an already very, very clean house) she allows her mind to travel back in time – to the days just before her daughter turned two. She recalls the language explosion her daughter went through, similar to her son. She recalls the growth spurts and teething pain – again, quite similar. Then she recalls how her daughter was obsessed with letters. How she could name every letter of the alphabet before her second birthday, complete with a corresponding friend or family member’s name. How she even celebrated her birthday surrounded by her beloved letters. And then the extremely young andΒ pretty mother with the exceedingly clean home realizes with a start that her son, about to turn two, knows not a single letter. And she decides some changes are in order.

When he asks her for a puzzle she fetches him one. An alphabet puzzle. “That ought to do it,” she thinks to herself as she attends briefly to a letter recognition lesson and then leaves the bedroom and continues working on her already immaculate home. She vows to herself to pick up with the lesson again later.

33

Five minutes later (or was it 10? 20?) the mother is interrupted by her son who has trotted into the kitchen, asking to color. She scoops him up and into his booster seat, realizing he has something foreign…and wooden…attached to his thumb. She tries to pluck it off. To no avail. She tries again. No dice. She’s certain his thumb just needs to be cooled off a bit, to contract (she’s very, very bright afterall), so she runs it under cold water.

43

And she’s right, the thumb certainly contracts. Just in time for the now wet and soggy wood to…expand. Further intensifying the letter B’s death grip on her child’s chubbiest digit.

53

And that, my friends, is how a young, prideful, mother hellbent on teaching her child all the things bright children should know, ends up here…

63

In the nearest ER, surrounded by swine flu victims and curious, snickering onlookers. (You must admit, a child with the letter B stuck to his thumb is worth a second look.)

72

Ah well, he’s no worse for the wear. After an unsuccessful attempt at constricting his thumb with surgical tape to remove the offending letter the docs paged the big guns…the maintenance man.

82

Mr. Maintenance Man was kind enough to hand over his wire clippers for the doctor on duty to snip away at our boy’s beloved puzzle piece until we were left with a few splintered pieces of wood (you better believe I’m saving those for posterity!) and a swollen but healthy right thumb.

9

So yes, he puts the “B” in B-Ro.

But unfortunately he also put the B-Ro in the “B”.

GramaOctober 5, 2009 - 7:51 pm

Loved hearing this story earlier today. But the pics make it even better!

AnneOctober 5, 2009 - 8:13 pm

Too cute! I have made way too many trips sto the ER with son. Unfortunately we always leave wtih stitches.

If I were you I would look on this as a non-traumatic trip to the ER. Good to draw on the next time you have to take him. He will already be familiar with it and not so scared.

We were at the hospital today for a routine test. Left feeling like we were all covered in cooties. We all sanitized as we walked out the door. I don’t miss spending lots of time in the germ pit.

elizabethOctober 5, 2009 - 8:14 pm

Your (very kind, very sympathetic) blog-reading friend Elizabeth surely did not intend to burst out laughing 2/3 of the way through this story. (If you could see her, she would be making a guilty pout-face while trying not to giggle anymore.)

(She is, of course, relieved that he is OK).

MeganOctober 5, 2009 - 8:26 pm

First, I love that you took all these pictures while your sons thumb was in danger. Second, I love the look on Sarah’s face while sitting in the waiting room. Third, your boy is a HAM! This is such a great story.

KatherineOctober 5, 2009 - 8:27 pm

Oh. my. goodness. Poor Ephraim! Poor you. Oh my.

And to think, people like my VERY OWN SISTER dare LAUGH at your travails! I didnt lagh t all – sorry, it’s really hard to type with my fingers crossed.

πŸ˜‰

LaceyOctober 5, 2009 - 8:52 pm

Oh, my craziness!!! I’m glad all’s well that ends well. I’m sure he has the letter B memorized now, although I imagine he’ll always have a negative association with it! ;- ) What a day! There truly is never a dull day with kids around, is there?

lyndsayOctober 5, 2009 - 9:25 pm

oh no! so funny, but not. we’re quite friendly with the ER staff at the hospital close to our house. actually when Ty was B-Ro’s age I think we actually made 3 trips in one week. Good times, good times.

AmyOctober 5, 2009 - 9:57 pm

Oh goodness, it’s SO much better with the pictures to go with the story! So, does he at least know the letter “B” now?! πŸ˜‰

RachaelOctober 5, 2009 - 11:53 pm

We’re glad B-Ro’s finger made it!! Too bad for the puzzle piece! Definitely one for the memory books LOL! (Attach one of those pictures to the “incomplete” puzzle and make it a “conversation piece”) ::hehe::

Daisy ReyesOctober 6, 2009 - 12:36 am

Loved this post. Hilarious.

French momOctober 6, 2009 - 1:26 am

I laughed SO much Erin !!!!

SamanthaOctober 6, 2009 - 3:17 am

Way to go B-Ros!!!!

jennieOctober 6, 2009 - 3:38 am

best story-teller ever!

MichelleOctober 6, 2009 - 5:05 am

These kinds of things must happen to you just because you blog. Hilarious! Great story. Glad it ended well.

Tonya ShackelfordOctober 6, 2009 - 5:58 am

Hi Erin,
I’ve never commented before, but I just had to today. This was such a funny story! I love your pictures and how you tell your stories! I am really glad B-Ro is okay though. I’m sure he will know his letter “B” now. As a mother of three boys, I definitely know how crazy things like this can happen at times. Just this past spring, I had to pull over on the side of the road because my almost 4 year old jammed a small, blue k-nex piece way up his nose. He took it from daycare and I had no idea he had it. Luckily, I stayed calm and knew exactly what to do to get it out and it actually worked. Ironically, one of my nieces (same age and we call them twins because they are so similar) stuck something up her nose the week before and my sister-in-law who works in ER admitting called the hospital and was told to plug the other nostril with her finger and blow in the mouth. It worked with my niece and my son and the k’nex piece came flying out, so no trip to the ER this time!

LaraOctober 6, 2009 - 6:38 am

Greatest. ER. Story. Ever.

marianOctober 6, 2009 - 8:13 am

this goes down in history. he will tell this story to his kids one day and they will all laugh at you. ha!

j.j.October 6, 2009 - 9:48 am

oh my word. that is hilarious. i mean not hilarious, but certainly one for the memory books. goodness, boys huh?

TracyOctober 6, 2009 - 10:50 am

To the young and pretty mom: you are hilarious!

JennyOctober 6, 2009 - 11:17 am

What a riot, thank you for the honesty and the laughs. The pictures do really make the story. Glad you are OK sweet Ephraim!

GinaOctober 6, 2009 - 11:28 am

Too funny Erin! You might have to take Ephraim for some “B” therapy so that he doesn’t have an aversion to the letter B in the future, HA!

Can’t believe you brought your camera to the ER, priceless pictures. Sarah’s face is great, “yeah just my little brother causing trouble as usual”.

So happy he is okay.

DebsOctober 6, 2009 - 11:52 am

Your pics are amazing but goodness you have a nack for telling a good tale. beautiful! Well done young pretty Mum!

JanieOctober 6, 2009 - 12:50 pm

Oh. My. Goodness. I cried because I was laughing so hard! πŸ™‚

SandiOctober 6, 2009 - 1:13 pm

OMGoodness!!! That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! LOL! Loved how you told the story and love the photos. I am still laughing here. I’m so glad he’s ok.

DaphneOctober 6, 2009 - 2:40 pm

Erin, this is hilarious! The pictures make the story even funnier. Too funny!

Tina ROctober 6, 2009 - 3:09 pm

Oh poor baby!! I, like others, couldnt help but laugh. Love your commentary! And I only laugh because this is something Carter would totally do too! Love the pictures.

Melissa MOctober 6, 2009 - 5:24 pm

Hahaha, oh my! I just love that you chose to document this on camera before rushing to the ER. I’m glad he is okay and I am SURE he will know the letter B now. If not because the letter was stuck on his thumb for a while, then because any time his young, pretty, cleaning mother sits with him to do his alphabet puzzle, it will always be the piece that is missing πŸ™‚

Katie RasmussenOctober 6, 2009 - 6:12 pm

OMG – that story had me cracking up so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks! Glad lil B-Ro is all good…but that is a classic story for later in life and it’s awesome you got pictures to document it πŸ™‚

LizNOctober 6, 2009 - 6:28 pm

A just learned the “don’t stick my finger in holes” lesson this week, too, although the story is not this endearing. Plus, her mommy is not as young and pretty as B-Ro’s, and her house is not as clean πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

JenniferOctober 7, 2009 - 6:35 pm

See what happens when it’s billing week at work and I’m busy!! Poor baby – he’ll probably be illiterate cause you’ve scared him away from letters!! LOL

JenniferOctober 7, 2009 - 6:36 pm

See what happens when it’s billing week at work and I’m busy – I miss the important stuff!!! Poor baby – he’ll probably be illiterate cause you’ve scared him away from letters!! LOL

Amy SargeantOctober 8, 2009 - 11:56 am

Absolutely hilarious. I’m so sorry he got his thumb stuck and am glad he’s OK. Your blog about it is precious and I’m so glad you documented it.

mandyOctober 9, 2009 - 6:15 am

oh my, that is too funny Erin. Hope you didn’t have to wait too long! I love that it was a B.

nickiOctober 9, 2009 - 7:09 pm

LOVE that you took pics of the whole ordeal!
How ironic that he got the letter B stuck!

beccaOctober 9, 2009 - 8:43 pm

I’m been meaning to comment on this one since I first read it! Poor boy but OH SO CUTE! Honestly, did the Doc and nurses not just fall in love with him and his capital B?

BachOctober 10, 2009 - 4:40 am

CB,
Dremel makes a fine rotary tool with a number of clever and convenient attachments that come in handy during moments like this.

Well played, Ephraim!

Bach

JennyApril 22, 2010 - 7:25 pm

This was the cutest story ever!!! This so needs to be a children’s book, and I would certainly buy it. So stinking cute, I love it!!

[…] far too much credit. I mean, my “personal life” involves dirty diapers, meal prep, an emergency room visit now and then and maybe a date night if I’m lucky. It’s hardly fodder for TMZ. Plus, the […]

[…] story at hand. And, if you’d like to know what the story at hand actually was you can read it here. Let me just say this, it won’t soon “B” […]

ten on tuesday. » The PigBearAugust 30, 2011 - 6:04 am

[…] 6. Last week after I asked for some school lunch ideas you guys came through in a big way. I had no idea there were so many awesome resources out there for fun and creative lunches. My faves were ThisLunchRox and Wendolonia. Of course I’ll never be a lunch artist like those girls but they did help give me some neat ideas for keeping healthy foods fun. Last week I sent Ephraim with tortillas cut into letter shapes. The first thing he said when I picked him up was, “I want more tortilla letters!” As an added bonus, he’s learning his letters without fear of a trip to the emergency room. […]

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