on ghosting.

Sorry y’all, but I think I might have ghosted.

Ghosted – you know, where you leave a party without telling anyone you’re leaving? You just leave.

Yeah, I think I did that.

It’s been almost four months with nary a post on this blog and it’s starting to be something I don’t even have on my “really should do that” list. It’s starting to feel like it never even existed. The guilt of not blogging is starting to lift.

Yesterday I received what may be the nicest message from an almost-stranger that I’ve ever received. It was about this blog and it said all kinds of lovely things about me that I’m 98% sure are mostly not true…but it lifted my spirits so. And it made me smile to think that anything I’ve ever written might have ever made someone feel like that. Because even if 2% of it IS true, that would be enough.

Oh how I have loved this blog. It got my mothering self through babyhood and toddlerhood and saw me off into the harried pace of childhood with a gentle shove and a smile…the kind I give me kids each day when they head off to school. Goodbye! Have a great day! See you when you get back!

But then I didn’t come back.

The writing I did on this blog over the years – and the responses I received in return – saw me through such a transitional, formational time in my life. And it didn’t dawn on me until yesterday that perhaps I wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of that benefit. If it might have done a bit of that for you, I can’t tell you how that pleases me.

This is a new time in my life. My kids are in school full time and they spend the small time that they’re with me hollering “don’t talk about me!” should I ever tell a story about them in their presence. It’s okay. I remember doing the same to my own mother. If only I had known at the time that she wasn’t sharing sweet stories on my behalf to find humor in me – but rather, to revel in me. To share with the world the precious joy that my sister and I were to her. All the sweet, silly, ridiculous, maddening parts of us. I know this now because I feel it toward my own sprouting children. And as much as I want to share every delightful bit of them with the world, they sure wouldn’t appreciate it.

Sure, I can share a story here and there, but I think the days ofΒ  Sarah and Ephraim being the meat and potatoes of blog fodder have a little bit sailed.

And here’s another thing: I have real friends now. Okay, that sounds super dumb, I know. But the fact is that for so many years this blog was my connection to the world. I was home with babies who napped. I was starting a business in my kitchen. I was changing and washing and changing and washing what felt like 50 diapers a day. There wasn’t a whole lot of face-to-face interaction happening in my daily life.

And now, well, there is.

We’ve been in Huntsville for going on 8 years and I LOVE THIS PLACE. I have settled into the rhythm of the progressive South (yep, it’s a real thing) like I was born to be here. These are my people, as much as I never thought I’d say that. My real, live friends hear my real, lame stories everyday. And then I feel kind of dumb sharing them again here. My need for over-sharing is often met by the end of a five mile run at 6:30 a.m. And then again at lunch with a friend. Or on the phone with my long-distance besties. And sometimes even with my husband (imagine that!). And then it seems the time for telling has past.

But here’s the thing: I miss writing. I don’t write anymore. I answer emails, I text (voice-t0-text, more accurately, with a few emojis thrown in for good measure), I occasionally stick a note in my kiddos’ lunch boxes. But that’s it. So maybe the time has come for this blog to fill a new need for me. No longer a need to connect for sanity’s sake, but rather, just a need to sort and process and get some thoughts out of my head.

So if anyone has stuck around to read what may come, great. But if you’ve all ghosted too, I can’t say I blame you. Sometimes, ghosting is good for the soul.

CarrieFebruary 20, 2015 - 4:27 am

This is a great post. I ghosted my blog a while ago as well. Like you, it got me through those crazy baby/toddler times. My son isn’t full time in school yet, but I feel like I’ve found my foothold in motherhood, and the blogging just isn’t as important. (also, I think Instagram has replaced it for me). It is sad to me. Now that my daughter is a true reader, one of her favorite things to read is our old blog books. I worked so hard on it for years.
You are an excellent writer, I hope you will continue it in some fashion.

ElizabethFebruary 20, 2015 - 5:55 am

i think so many of us are going through this now… Says the mama with the 12, 10, and 7 yo. I have been struggling to figure out shareable blog contentβ€”I have plenty I *want* and need to write about this stage of parenting but like you, am finding it not the right platform for much of it. But my blog is truly one of my favorite things and I don’t want to let it go. Keep thinking on what yours can be, just because we have in real life friends doesn’t mean we don’t miss the ones in our computers : )

KrystalFebruary 20, 2015 - 9:05 am

Hi! Nice to hear from you πŸ™‚ Glad you are enjoying life….real life. As for the blog…..I know what you are saying. As young mom’s our lives are taken over by our children and that tends to be our main focus. When we get a little of that ‘me’ time back….we take it full force. There is no shame in enjoying your life and free time. You say that this blog is now not a focus primarily on your kids. That’s not a bad thing. The gears can shift toward YOUR blog any which way that is. There are so many ‘adult’ things to enjoy talking about. Cooking, exercise, decorating, just everyday ramblings. And kids can still be part of that. So if you continue this blog….enjoy writing about your passions, your experiences, your thoughts….your life πŸ™‚

GabrielaFebruary 20, 2015 - 10:33 am

I’m still here. Haven’t ghosted. Missing you and waiting patiently for your return. Gosh, how I enjoy reading your blog.

AddieFebruary 20, 2015 - 11:11 am

I’m still here! Glad to hear from you! I miss Ten on Tuesday!

donyaFebruary 20, 2015 - 12:40 pm

Erin! Oh, I would absolutely love if you got back into writing on here, even if it’s completely different. While you’re kids are adorable (and I admit one of the biggest reasons I jumped over to your site the first time was because our boys share almost the same name) I have always loved hearing about YOU! Your cooking advice, your giving heart, and all of your other adventures. And of course, I love hearing about your photography journey since you’ve been so successful. But I totally get how much time and effort it takes to keep a blog going.

ellen pattonFebruary 20, 2015 - 12:47 pm

I hope you keep writing; your blog is still on my A-team. And we’re REAL friends because of it. πŸ™‚

MollyFebruary 20, 2015 - 1:32 pm

Still here too! Still love your blog. I agree with all of the above…cooking, running, decorating, with some photography tips tossed in every now and again. Now that my kids are a little older (7, 5, & 2), I don’t reach for my camera as much as I used to, but I do miss photographing daily things intentionally. Your blog was what inspired me to do that and I’ve thought about getting back into it…and put down my trusty iphone camera. Was there mention of decorating the river house? Or re-doing your kitchen? Love your thrifty style.

DebsFebruary 20, 2015 - 4:11 pm

When I read someone had left you a comment, I cheered (albeit silently!) as I had thought about it loads and thought you’d think it creepy so I didn’t. I’m SO glad someone else did. Good to see you back and I’ll definitely check in to see how it evolves. Glad things are good for you though – that’s the main thing.

KellyFebruary 20, 2015 - 5:30 pm

I’ve read your blogs for years. My oldest two kids are almost 9 and 7, so I could always relate to what you were posting. I still check your blog because I always love to hear what you have to say. I hope you continue to blog- you are a great writer!

CarrieFebruary 20, 2015 - 9:48 pm

Well, it’s nice to see you back, even if it’s explaining why you haven’t been here πŸ™‚

I can say that reading your blog over the years has been a joy. Several years ago (ugh…it’s really scary to sit here and think, but I want to say maybe 6 or so…can that even be possible?!) I discovered your blog and went back and read the whole, entire thing. Here I was, this engaged girl all the way in California who didn’t know you at all and I read the whole thing. It made me think about motherhood and friendship and marriage and photography, all things that have become important to me over the years since. Now I’ve got a 19 month old and I still remember many of those stories you told, even if they’re just back in my mind somewhere helping me think through some of the challenges.

And now this post…it just hits me. I’m in that “who are my REAL friends” stage. I work full time for a wonderful company, but it’s from home. My coworkers are several hundred miles away. Most of my best friends (from college and otherwise) live spread out across the country and, while I love them, we’re hardly meeting for lunch. So reading this and remembering that there are so many seasons of life and it’s totally ok to be in the one that I’m in is actually really nice.

Call me sentimental after reading this or blame it on the glass of wine I working on, but I wanted to share all of this. I haven’t often commented throughout the years, but I’ve been here, reading and enjoying. And, in whatever capacity you come back (or not!), I’ll keep you on my bloglovin’ feed and look forward to seeing your blog pop up πŸ™‚

Craig VFebruary 22, 2015 - 1:50 pm

I am so glad that you are back at the party. I have missed your wit, humor, observations on life, the world. Thank you.

AbbyFebruary 22, 2015 - 3:29 pm

πŸ™‚ Welcome back… whatever the message I’m glad to read. I really enjoy connecting in a “Virtual” sort of way!

donnaFebruary 22, 2015 - 5:35 pm

yahhh…welcome back! I have missed your sweet posts, and your creative way. I love your writing! I love that you do what you do and how you do it, and that share it ! that is amazing. blog world is awesome. specially on cold winter Canadian afternoons. I was delighted to find you had posted your writing again.

thank you for sharing..til the next time!

janelleFebruary 23, 2015 - 8:25 pm

Hugs my friend…Life is full of change and transition. I love that you have found your peoples, are content where you live and thrive in your family and business! I love you!

JanieFebruary 24, 2015 - 1:07 pm

I’m so glad to see you back. I still have you on my feed reader, which I don’t check as often as I used to, with all the other technology available. But I still do love to read your blog, as I could totally relate to it.

staciFebruary 24, 2015 - 3:48 pm

OH WOOHOO!!! YOU’RE BACK:)

AshleahFebruary 26, 2015 - 9:09 pm

Hello Erin,
I began reading your blog before my daughter was born (almost six years ago). Your beautiful pictures caught my attention but your words kept me coming back. I can not tell you how many times I have laughed out loud while reading your blog!

I was fortunate enough to have you photograph my family in California several years ago and you recommended sweet Amy Shertzer to photograph my family this past spring. I adore both sets of pictures and I am so grateful that you have inspired me to attempt to photograph my children myself as well as have them professionally photographed!

As long as you are writing on your blog I will be reading!

Debbie KingstonMarch 5, 2015 - 7:08 pm

Oh, I’m so glad you are back!! I’ve missed you. I used to check almost daily for your posts, then weekly from late November as you had gone MIA…and then very infrequently from there. I’m so glad I decided to check again. You’ve made my day. I so enjoy your posts.
Waving hi from down under.
Debbie

Marsha IngraoMarch 6, 2015 - 8:16 am

Hi Erin, I ghosted your site for five years, watching your kids grow up, falling in love with your family. I loved your writing, you photographs, and thought, “I could do that.” And I did. I started blogging about three years ago, and fell in love with blogging. I, too have slowed down in blogging, but my blogging friends are dear and true. I’m meeting two of my Aussie friends in HI in January of 2016. I never would have started had I not read your blog faithfully for years, and learned how to blog. πŸ™‚ I’m glad you have real friends – of course you would. But you have hundreds, maybe thousands of virtual friends as well, some like me who may never has written a word. Thanks for coming back. I missed you. πŸ™‚

CrystalMarch 18, 2015 - 11:54 pm

Oh! How exciting to see you back! I’m from Fayetteville, Tn (just north of Huntsville) but live overseas, and your blog gives me little snippets into life close to home (it also gives me new places to try out or look into when I do make it home to the US) Your photography has also been a great inspiration to me, as well – both your business and just keeping a record of fun family moments! So happy to see you back!

KarenMarch 31, 2015 - 7:15 pm

I was blaming Facebook and Instagram for your absence, but I’m happy to see you back whatever the reason! πŸ™‚

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